Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I'm Going Shopping for a Tiara

My new online friend and blogging consigliere, Rougie, owns three tiaras and isn't afraid to use them.  I've seen recent photos of her in a bar, in Hickory I think, with a sparkly on her head, so I know this is not just an urban myth.  

Since the age of 4,  I have had a crown  of my own  - which I did not have to buy I might add (sorry Rougie).  It was placed on my head in a coronation of sorts in Paul's Palace at Maiden Elementary School around 1958 or 1959.  My Uncle Stanley took the photographs.  Three of my other uncles called me "Little Miss Maiden" well into my thirties and as I've mentioned before, David (he wasn't a Dr. yet) had a photo of me at my coronation published in local papers on my 40th birthday.  I have always known that I was royalty.  In addition to the crown,  I have a trophy that says "Queen."  From time to time I have needed to point to one or both to remind Dr. David and T&T who is really in charge despite their meager but sometimes frequent efforts at a coup. 

My Mom taught me how to be a princess. I think she was crowned by her father at an early age.  She also owned a tiara.  My younger cousin aspired to follow me to into royalty.  A photo of her debutante presentation at age 18 looks like she made it and since her return from self-imposed exile in California, we have made a point of sharing the center of the universe.  We are now having some internal royal struggles as Rougie and Lauren think they also deserve a turn, little Taryn is growing impatient as a Lady in Waiting and Ella is about to burst onto the scene.  Somehow, I expect Ella to  demand a full HRH title on the day of her birth.  Patience is not a virtue that Royals like us possess.

As I was on my Saturday Edinburgh Walkabout last weekend I passed a fabulous shop with windows filed with tiaras.  I think I may go back and buy one, it being The 10 Days of Cindy and all. 

 Crowns are a big deal in Britain.   England and Scotland have fought wars over who should wear them and there are some pretty amazing collections of crowns and the associated jewels in the Tower of London

and here in Edinburgh at  Holyroodhouse Palace.

Why belly-ache about being excluded from this year's honors list , as my co-nate Doug and Dr.Dave are wont to do each year,  when I am entitled to wear my own personal crown. OK OK, I have to admit it, attempts to borrow one from the Palace have been unsuccessful so buying one may be required.  My head has grown a bit, along with the rest of me, in the past 52 years.

Did you know that the monarchy has its own website? They must be getting a handle on that whole PR . I highly recommend a visit. They actually answer e-mails!

But I ramble...
Just across the Royal Mile from the tiara shop,  is a Scottish Dress maker and Kilt shop that displays two frocks I also might need.

 The skirt is the draw here.

 Of course, since I have at least 5 tartans that I can claim as my own, I wouldn't be so tasteless as to have this dress made in Royal  Stewart.  Besides, I look awful in red.

Rose - I'd use the Hunting (Blue/Green) Somewhere there are two parsons chairs upholstered in #3 that used to be at the head and foot of my dining room table.

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 McMullen/MacMillan - I have a kilted skirt in the garnet and gold for FSU events.  Otherwise, it is all about the ancient (#2)  Our  friend, Sir George, Chief of Clan MacMillan doesn't actually like my favorite because it is too  often confused with Buchanan.  Too bad  George.  I am royalty so I get to choose.

Brodie - The dress I wore as First Lady at Burn's Night in Charlotte was done in #2 but in a more muted shade and the gold threads were metallic.  Fabulous!

A MacDonald woman  from the Isle of Skye married an English Wilkinson man  - probably against the sage advice of her parents.  Those are my ancestors. I'm still waiting for the inheritance from the swodr manufacturing business. But then my brother would probably just steal it anyway so why worry.

Lindsay - This comes down through David's mother's family line.  I once had napkins, placemats and coasters in #1

There is also Ellis
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but I think that may be Welsh or something and I am just not going there - well, I have been there - Wales I mean.  They say if you can't see the mountains, it's raining and if you can see the mountains it is going to rain. But what I mean is I am not even going to consider that I may have some Welsh ancestors because I know only one Welshman - a very good friend but a total right wing crazy and if that is what being Welsh is about then I won't even consider it.  Besides I don't think they have their own crown jewels so why bother.
(At least I'm not German and married to a Greek racist.)

But why am I thinking about all things Royal you wonder?  Well, I have been in a really bad funk recently about my thyroid-induced weight gain.  I have been reading, consulting specialists, posting questions on webpages ,asking friends for tips to find out how the hell to lose some weight.   Peeps, this is a big deal!  I have quit drinking (well, there was that one pint on Sat) I have cut out carbs, I have lowered fat, I count calories, I am walking miles (when my body allows it) and still I continue put on weight.  In other words, I am depressed, I feel ugly, I am tired all the time, I have a constant headache, I can't sleep (which does  wonders for the complexion) and I have a birthday coming up.  Hooray me!

As you have probably noticed I try to focus on the good things about birthdays like presents and attention and presents and celebrations and presents and cake and presents and such.  But, how am I going to eat cake when I could actually watch it go into my mouth and appear instantly visible at my waist? Cooking is my favorite sport and making reservations at good restaurants is my favorite hobby.  I read cookbooks like novels. 

Yesterday, Dear Dr. David brought me wonderful Edinburgh fudge for Day 2.  Three amazing  flavors - rum raisin, mocha with chocolate glaze and a totally decadent pitaschio with white chocolate.  I was thrilled at his thoughtfulness and yet I cried.  How could I eat fudge in my current condition? He was bewildered and when I explained my plight  he told me how beautiful he thinks I am and how I need to learn to accept that my body has been my worst enemy for years wreaking havoc in all aspects of my life and I need to accept it and get on with those things I enjoy and quit feeling sorry for myself and blah blah blah and go shopping. ( No he is not available) I was still a bitch. I mean the shopping thing  is appealing but then I would have to deal with the whole 100 Things Challenge and my advocacy of simplicity and.....

...and then this morning the dear Dr. forwarded me an e-mail that helped me begin to get a grip and start to put things in perspective. I am royalty after all and with a crown comes both rights and responsibilities.  I have responsibilities as the High Priestess of Fun  - yet another of my royal titles bestowed several years ago by an interesting friend who definitely understands the definition of a good time  -  he is also blogging 

I have the responsibility of setting an example of the correct way to celebrate a birthday.  Hey, Queen Lizbet does it twice a year, once for real and once just so her subjects can celebrate.  Now there's a plan almost as good as the 10 days of me. And I have some rights.  Like the right as Toby would say to go "fucking shopping" - 100 things be damned. ( I will certainly need to  spend some time working through that one so you will probably get a chance to read about it )

But before I can do that I have to come to term with being me as I am now - almost 56 years old and a lot different from who I was 52 years ago when I was first crowned queen or even 16 years ago when the event was re-visited.  I should be more poised, more polished, more - well OK with there being more of me.

Elizabeth was crowned Queen before I was born.  She has aged from 25 to 80 under the harsh microscope of worldwide publicity  - and she has done it with style and grace.  Even our American royal, Jacqueline Kennedy, had that awful Onassis phase. And Queenie has gained weight  - a lot of it by the looks of the photos.  Is she down about it?  I don't think so. When the scales tilt a bit upward she just buys a new dress - with a matching hat.  And you know what, I have better taste than she does (and a much better hairstyle - OMG no wonder she wears hats!), although I have a much smaller budget I am afraid.  But regardless, Day 4 will find me "down the shops" running up some card balances and hopefully coming home with an improved attitude.

This old gal gives new meaning to the phrase "Long Live the Queen"

I don't know about you, but I went OMG somewhere between Eisenhower and Truman.


  1. The joy about shopping for a tiara or shoes or pretty baubles or a handbag is that it doesn't matter how much you weigh. This is why women have so many shoes and why probably we need more tiaras.

  2. Oh my gosh Cindy! I love this blog! I've never been crowned, never owned a tiara, never even thought I'd want one until now. Hmmm....